Rescued by the Magic of Christmas Read online

  “What?” Hannah asked.

  This had been the elephant in the room Carly had avoided talking about. This probably wasn’t the right time, either, but with the kids around she never had Hannah to herself. And Carly really needed to talk about this. Now more than ever.

  “It’s just…” She took a deep breath. “If I had convinced Iain not to climb instead of fighting with him, Nick wouldn’t have died.”

  The only sound in the kitchen was an occasional ice cube dropping into the bucket in the freezer.

  “Nick made his own decision to climb that day. He could have said no,” Hannah said finally.

  “I should have told Nick not to go.” Carly stared at her fingernails. “Iain was upset when he left. If he was distracted…If his mind wasn’t in the right space—”

  “Accidents happen. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

  Carly wanted to believe that. Desperately. “I still wish I would have talked Iain into staying home.”

  “And I wish I had told Nick to stay home,” Hannah admitted. “But we can’t change what happened. All we can do is live our lives the way Nick and Iain would have wanted us to live.”

  Carly reached across the table and squeezed Hannah’s hand. “That’s what you’re doing. Nick would be so proud of you. I admire you so much.”

  Another ice cube clattered into the plastic bin.

  “I climbed it,” Hannah said, her voice a mere whisper in the dead of night.

  It. The mountain. Carly shivered. “When?”

  “Three years ago. In May. Jake and Sean Hughes took me up.” Hannah stared out the window. “I wanted to stand on the summit the way Nick had done so many times and see what he saw. So I could try to understand.”

  “Understand?”

  “Why he loved climbing so much.” Hannah sighed. “I used to consider the mountain my nemesis. Mount Hood. The other woman in our marriage.”

  Carly understood completely. Iain had his eye on peaks around the world, including Antarctica. “I sometimes wondered who Iain loved more. Me or his mountains. Who he would have chosen if he could have picked only one of us.”

  “He loved you. Just like Nick loved me and the kids.” Hannah tilted her chin. “But the mountains held an allure for them. Nick thrived on the mental and physical challenges of climbing, but he told me once the mountains were the place he found joy and felt most comfortable.”

  “Were you comfortable up there?” Carly asked.

  “No, I was scared to death,” Hannah admitted. “I didn’t know if I could make it to the top. I remember standing in the parking lot at Timberline and looking up, thinking it was so far away. And it was. The slog up to Palmer took forever. The sulfur smell from the Devil’s Kitchen made me so nauseous I thought I might throw up. I wanted to stop, but when I saw the triangular shadow of the mountain to the west Nick had told me about so many times…I had to keep going as much for myself as him. It wasn’t easy. The ice on the Pearly Gates intimidated me, but I knew I was so close.”

  Carly listened, totally amazed by what Hannah, who had a paralyzing fear of heights and had never climbed anything in her life other than stairs, was telling her.

  “Standing on the summit was…surreal.” Hannah sighed. “All that snow and ice. I was so tired, completely wiped out by the climb, and I felt so small compared to everything around me, but there was such a sense of accomplishment. Of having made it to the top of something so big when I didn’t think I could.

  “The views were incredible and took my breath away. Jake had pointed out where Nick would have crossed the saddle of Illumination Rock to get to the Reid Headwall. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see where the accident happened. I just thought about Nick and how he’d stood here and seen the same things. The morning sun glimmering on the Columbia River. The line of snow-capped volcanic peaks running to the north and south. All these other beautiful sights below me. I felt so…so close to him, as if he were right there with me, and everything was okay again. I could finally understand and not hate what he loved doing or this mountain where he’d died.”

  “Wow.”

  “It was definitely wow worthy, but I have no desire to climb again. I couldn’t wait to get back down.” The corners of Hannah’s mouth turned up in a satisfied smile. “But I got the closure I wanted. Needed. And that’s what you need to do yourself.”

  Carly’s heart slammed against her chest. “Climb Mount Hood?”

  “You’ve already done that.”

  Not since Iain had taken her up and proposed on the summit.

  “You need to find whatever it is that will give you closure so you can move on,” Hannah continued.

  “I have moved on.”

  Hannah raised her eyebrows.

  “Really,” Carly insisted. “This trip has been good for that.”

  “And Jake?” Hannah asked. “Where does he fit into all this?”

  A beat passed.

  “We’re friends.”

  Hannah drew her brows together. “Are you sure that’s all you are?”

  The concern in Hannah’s voice and eyes sounded an alert in Carly’s head. She straightened. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you liked him when you were younger.”

  Had her feelings been so transparent to everyone? Carly sighed. “Jake was my brother’s best friend and always around. It was safe. A crush, nothing else.”

  “But he has asked you out to dinner.”

  “It’s not a date. At least, I don’t think it’s a date.”

  “Uh-huh.” Hannah used the table to help her stand. She rubbed her lower back again. “And what does Jake think?”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  MOVE ON? Or make his move?

  Jake wasn’t sure what he wanted as he sat across from Carly at Mama Amici’s, a family-run Italian café. Things were not going well. The din of conversations from other customers only intensified the silence between them. He never expected tonight to be so damn uncomfortable.

  Forget about what he might want. He needed to think about what Carly needed. Doing that, Jake knew exactly what he needed to do—reconnect with her as a friend. One who’d watched her grow up and cared about what happened to her. His job was to make her smile, laugh and relax so when she returned to Philadelphia she would be ready to move on. To love again.

  Love someone else.

  Jake shifted in the booth. Might as well jump on it. “It’s just you and me here, Carly. No need to be nervous.”

  She placed the napkin she’d been toying with on her lap. “Do I seem nervous?”

  So far, she had spilled her water, dumped the contents of her purse and dropped her knife onto the floor.

  Jake shrugged. “Maybe a little tense.”

  “It’s been a while since I’ve been…”

  “Out to dinner,” he offered.

  She tilted her chin. “I had dinner at your brewpub the other night.”

  “That’s right, and you didn’t look as tense there.” He swirled his glass of Chianti. “Or keep eying the door like you’re ready to bolt.”

  “Sorry.” Carly glanced around the restaurant until her gaze rested on the flickering votive candle on their table. “It’s just…this feels sort of like a date and I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be.”

  “It’s not a date. Dinner with a friend.”

  He’d purposely picked this casual mom-and-pop café with its vinyl-covered booths and red-checked tablecloths so the evening wouldn’t feel like a date. He hadn’t wanted her to get the wrong idea. Hell, he hadn’t wanted to get the wrong idea himself.

  “If this was a date,” Jake continued. “I would have taken you to a place where the smell of garlic doesn’t smack you in the face when you walk in the door. You know, one of those fancy places where the waiter shakes out your napkin for you and they make you sniff the cork.”

  The corners of her mouth turned up. Her lips opened, giving him a clear view of her straight, white teeth. Those braces sh
e’d complained about for three years had been worth it.

  But he still wanted to see a full smile, one that reached all the way to her eyes. Time to send it.

  “And I would have brought you flowers,” he added.

  A wide smile erupted on her face. Score.

  “You bring flowers?” She stared up at him through thick lashes, and Jake felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. “Roses or daisies?”

  “Different kinds of flowers,” he said once he could breathe again. “Roses or daisies or whatever was your favorite.”

  “Sounds lovely.”

  She was lovely.

  “I’d only bring those if this was a date.” Which this wasn’t, he reminded himself. “But I would never think of asking you out on a date.”

  Liar. Jake swirled the wine in his glass. He should have kept his mouth shut.

  “Never? Once I thought…Well, it doesn’t matter.”

  Damn, she was onto him. Suddenly bolting out of the restaurant didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. Instead, he met her gaze. “Okay, yeah. But I got over it.”

  Over you.

  “Oh.” Carly’s mouth quirked. “That’s good. Less awkward for everyone.”

  He smiled ruefully. “It would be hard to beat this for awkwardness.”

  “Oh, I can beat this.”

  “Please do, and take me out of my misery.”

  “That bad, huh?” she teased.

  Jake shrugged.

  “Okay.” Amusement filled her eyes. “After Iain’s funeral, someone came up to me to express his condolences. He also offered to be my friend with, um, benefits though his words were a little more blunt and left me speechless.”

  Jake’s temper flared like lightning. “Who was it?”

  “No one you knew,” she said.

  “Carly.”

  She sighed. “It was one of Iain’s climbing friends from up north, a guy not worth the effort or a police record. Otherwise I would have asked you to beat him up.”

  “I still could have pushed him around a little.”

  She grinned. “Oh, one of your steely glares would have definitely intimidated him.”

  “What did you do?” Jake asked.

  “Well, I didn’t know whether to laugh it off or slap him. I couldn’t stop thinking this was someone who Iain planned to climb with after we returned from our honeymoon. All of a sudden, the tears started flowing and wouldn’t stop. The guy shoved his cocktail napkin into my hand and disappeared. I never saw him again.”

  “A good thing.”

  “No doubt, but that wasn’t nearly as awkward as…”

  She ran her fingertip along the stem of her wineglass.

  “Tell me,” Jake urged.

  “Iain’s parents.” She took a sip of her wine and placed the glass on the table. “They showed up at the apartment the day after the funeral. I know they were in shock like me, but they acted like total strangers. They wanted any items Iain had left there and all the wedding gifts his family had sent. His mother kept picking up things and asking if they belonged to Iain. And then his father told me not to expect anything from Iain’s estate since we weren’t married. As if that’s all I cared about, not the fact my hopes and dreams had died on the mountain with their son.”

  She didn’t sound bitter, simply resigned.

  “I had no idea.” Jake reached across the table and touched her hand. “You should have told me.”

  “I didn’t tell anyone, not even my parents.”

  Her skin felt soft beneath his fingers, the way he had imagined it would feel. “Thanks for telling me now.”

  As a comfortable silence descended, an invisible connection drew them closer. Wanting to reassure her, he squeezed her hand.

  She smiled.

  He smiled back.

  “Out of your misery?” she asked.

  “Completely. Thanks.” Jake realized his hand still covered hers. He didn’t want to move it, but did, lifting his fingers off her smooth skin and reaching for his wineglass. “But you might be the miserable one now.”

  “I’ve never been better.”

  He studied her face. No tightness around her mouth or creases on her forehead. “I believe you.”

  “You should.”

  Jake did. “Something’s different about you.”

  She nodded. “I finally realized I can look back, but still move forward. It’s been…good.”

  Those were the words Jake wanted to hear, but he wanted to make sure she didn’t stop. “Keep at it. Those dreams of yours can still come true.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I know so.”

  “Thanks.” Carly raised her glass. “To old friends.”

  “Hey, we’re not over the hill yet.”

  “You’re older than me.”

  “Only by four years.”

  “Well, you made it seem like a lot more when we were younger.” She kept her glass raised. “Always taunting me about being older and wiser.”

  “I was older and wiser,” Jake said. “And you could be a real pest.”

  “Oh, so me being a pest justified you comparing me to poison oak?”

  She still made him itch.

  He cleared his throat. “Admit it. You used to follow us everywhere. Spying. Annoying us.”

  “That’s what little sisters do.”

  But she wasn’t little any longer. And she sure wasn’t his sister. “I wouldn’t know. I’m an only child. But it looks like you’ve outgrown the pest stage.”

  “You sure about that?” she asked.

  Her gaze, full of laughter and warmth, held his. Uh-oh. He felt as if he were treading where he shouldn’t, traversing below a slab of snow ready to release and carry him off a cliff into the abyss below. He couldn’t allow that to happen.

  To old friends.

  Jake tapped his glass against hers. The chime hung in the air. “Cheers, my friend.”

  As Jake drove his SUV along Highway 26, Carly pressed her head against the passenger seat’s headrest. She couldn’t believe how much fun she’d had with him. She wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye. “Thanks for dinner tonight.”

  “I hope we can do it again,” Jake said.

  “Me, too.”

  She meant the words. Being with him was so easy. Once they got through the initial silence and determined this evening wasn’t a date, they could talk and joke. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so close to or so at ease with anyone.

  And that worried her.

  Carly liked keeping her distance, even with the few guys she’d dated, but surprisingly things had gotten downright cozy between her and Jake at the cute little Italian café. Oh, strictly platonic in spite of his holding her hand once. But another dinner for two, even a friendly meal, probably wasn’t a good idea.

  “Next time we should include Kendall and Austin,” Carly added.

  “The more the merrier,” Jake replied easily.

  His ready acceptance of the kids bothered Carly. She loved her niece and nephew, but a part of her wished he could have sounded a little disappointed at not being alone with her again.

  Pathetic.

  She glanced his way. The lights on the dashboard glowed, silhouetting his strong jaw and his straight nose. So handsome. Gorgeous really. If you liked that type. Which she did. Unfortunately.

  Just friends.

  She forced herself to look away.

  The headlights illuminated a swath of snow-covered trees. The temperature outside had to be below freezing, but she felt a little toasty. Must be the hot air from the heater.

  Yeah, right.

  And maybe she’d wake up in a couple of days and discover Santa had left her the perfect present under the tree. She sneaked another peek Jake’s way.

  Too good-looking for her own good.

  Better watch it.

  He turned into the driveway, shifted the gear stick into Park and turned off the engine. He opened his door, hopped out and walked toward the fron
t of the car.

  Panic struck. She didn’t mind the little man-woman gestures that added spark to a relationship. But she didn’t want them from Jake. A two-week fling with an old friend who shared so much history with her wasn’t a good idea.

  Carly opened the door and slid out of the SUV. Her feet landed with a thud and sunk through the layer of new snow. She lurched toward the porch. Her foot slid on the layer of ice beneath the powder.

  Oh, no. She slipped and tried to balance herself.

  “Whoa.” Two hands wrapped around her and held her upright. “It’s icy out here. You need to go slow or you’ll fall.”

  She felt as if she’d already fallen. No way could she get up without help.

  His warmth and strength enveloped her. Her heart pounded. She struggled to breathe. She looked back at him. “Th-thanks.”

  A slow grin spread over his face. “At your service.”

  Heaven help her. She wanted his…No, she didn’t.

  Carly shivered and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “It’s cold out here.” He removed his hands from her. “Let’s get you inside.”

  Yes, because a list of words describing their dinner was running through her mind. Comfortable, cozy…If she weren’t careful the next word on the list would be couple.

  Not that Jake would want to be part of a couple with her. Or bring her flowers. Or kiss her good-night.

  Kiss her? She really needed to say goodbye and get away from him.

  Carly hurried toward the front steps, careful so she wouldn’t slip again. Jake followed. She stood at the front door, her hand gripping on the doorknob, feeling tongue-tied and all twisted up inside.

  “Good night, Carly.” He lightly tapped the end of her nose. A platonic, totally unromantic gesture.

  She shouldn’t complain. That was what she’d wanted from him. Not a date. No kisses required.

  “’Night.” She moistened her dry lips. “Thanks again. For everything. I had a great time. I really did.”

  She needed to stop talking. Now.

  “You should come with us tomorrow,” Jake said.

  “Us?”

  “I’m taking the kids to their ski lessons. Kendall and Austin love to show off what they’re learning.”